The end of a relationship is always difficult but it is more challenging when you still have a love for the other person. Heartbreak can feel like your world is ending. The thing to remember is that the pain is temporary and it is in no way going to prevent you from finding love again. Go to https://breakupshop.com/breaking-up-with-someone-you-love/ to read more about finding your way through a bad breakup.
Heartbreak is a loss and healing is comparable to a grieving process that will translate differently for each person. It will likely take longer to recover from an unwanted divorce as opposed to a bad breakup of a shorter duration. There isn’t a set time, though, for you to get over your feelings with factors such as the length of the union, memories that you have, and shared experiences along with the depth of the emotion all contributing to the process.
Breaking up When You’re Still In Love
Love can be messy. Breaking up is even messier. It can be made worse not to mention painful if you don’t want the relationship to come to a close. There is comfort in the notion that you are not alone. Relationships are meant to be formed. Love is supposed to be experienced at least one time in a lifespan. Unfortunately, this is accompanied many times by the dreaded heartbreak. It is expected and natural.
The devastation and upset that you suffer following a bad breakup is normal even in instances where the partnership wasn’t necessarily a positive one. As they say, ‘love is blind’. Most people tend to look past any flaws in the other person when they’re in love. This is especially true when an ending is feared. The person who is still feeling love can only see the good times overshadowing the bad memories and questions the breakup.
Recovering From A Bad Breakup
As with any type of wound, grieving heartbreak is going to heal over time by indulging in self-care and maintaining a positive attitude. All unions are unique in their make-up with feelings and situations varying. But it is possible for everyone suffering through a bad breakup regardless of your level of pain to recover and move on.
1. Allow time for yourself to go through the grieving process of a breakup
For some people who lose someone that they love due to a breakup, they experience hurt at a level comparable to that of death. Going from constant contact to a point of never seeing this person can become daunting realizing that your life will no longer include them.
You must come to these terms and grow to accept them before you’ll be able to move past this point. It is tempting to speed past the phase of being sad by remaining busy with other people and a tight schedule. But the close of a partnership needs to be grieved to reflect over the relationship and your contribution. Allowing yourself to feel all the heartbreak that you're experiencing rather than suppress it is an integral aspect of the recovery process.
This is not only a way to heal but a lesson in self. You may learn positive and perhaps negative aspects that you can take with you when you meet your next mate.
2. Take some time to connect with yourself for a while
When you’re in a relationship, the focus is typically on the two of you as a couple rather than you as an individual. After a breakup, you are given a rare chance to spend some time looking at where you are and where you want to be in your life.
Many people take an ending as an opportunity to begin something new in their own life. This could be a hobby, moving to a new location, or meeting up with old friends that you may have been neglecting. Part of moving on means taking the time to indulge in experiences that make you feel good. Doing this allows you to enter into a new partnership gradually and with a renewed self-awareness. There is no rush. Take time to focus on loving you. Read here on practicing self-love after a relationship ends.
3. There is no shame in asking those around you for help through your breakup
It is rare, in an ending that both people have come to the conclusion at the same time. When a bad breakup happens, there is generally shock and surprise which oftentimes lengthens and deepens the grieving process. This can also present feelings of rejection when a mate breaks up at what appears to be a spur of the moment.
If you're dealing with shock due to a surprise ending, it is natural to have feelings of rejection and begin to doubt your self-worth. At this moment, fully focusing on yourself is critical. But it is also crucial to be accepting of the fact that this person no longer wants to be involved with you and there will be no chance of a reconciliation.
You need to keep telling yourself that their leaving does not make you unworthy or unlovable. Concentrate on what you can do to make yourself feel better such as talking with friends or family-with boundaries in place. You may need to talk about your ex but might not feel comfortable yet with them saying negative things about them.
Talking through your feelings is good for you and it is helpful to get outside perspectives. It’s also cathartic when the time is right to get rid of physical reminders such as photos or other memorabilia if it causes you any type of pain after a bad breakup. Anything that needs to be returned to the other person should be done through a friend rather than seeing the ex again. Rely on your support system to help you through the healing.
It may not feel like it while you’re in the moment, but as time goes by, the hurt and betrayal will fade. Those reminders that once brought pain won’t hurt anymore. Thinking of your ex won’t bring the same feeling of sadness that you once experienced. It may take months, or possibly a year, but time actually does heal all.